HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
