hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
