Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
