Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
