Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
