i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
