Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
