grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
