woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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