Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
