When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
kristin has been a bad kristin
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
