HIV tests are more positive than that guy
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
