It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize