How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
