he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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