New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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