I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hippo gnu deer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
