are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
