I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
