I CAN MOONWALK!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
