whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
