I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
