I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
