I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
