you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
