I think my fart just growled at me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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