Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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