smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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