I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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