you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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