Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My dick has a subreddit
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
