All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
