Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
