I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize