Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I didn't notice because vodka
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
