so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
