I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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