My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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