i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
