Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
