i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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