Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize