When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
