I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
