It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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