Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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