Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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