Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
