i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
