What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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