it's like iHOP with fire
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
