I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
