The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
