What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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