just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
