My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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