So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize