I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
