I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
