She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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