I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
