gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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