There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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