I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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