I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
