And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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