I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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