Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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