To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
