i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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