Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize