shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
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