your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
